The Bloody Battle of 2008
My friend came up with an idea that amounts to genius. I wish I had thought of it myself. She is a big fan of bloody marys, and one day she decided it was time to find the best Chicago has to offer. This friend, let’s just call her Bloody Mary, decided to establish a Bloody Mary Bracket, culling recommendations from friends across the city and compiling them into a chart like the ones you see with sports tournaments. She divided the bracket into six different neighborhoods, with four spots to sample in each area. She even developed score cards for brunch attendees to evaluate the drinks on the basis of taste, texture, appearance, etc. Bloody Mary is a graduate student and an almost full-time employee at a law firm, so she wisely waited until the end of the school year to embark on her quest. Her first visit was to the Twisted Spoke, which specializes in rather elaborate versions of the drink. I couldn’t make it to that trial, but you can read her summation of the reviewers’ comments on her blog. This weekend’s trials were held at Stanley’s Kitchen & Tap in Lincoln Park. This time Empanada Boy and I joined Bloody Mary and eight others to sample and weigh in on the debate.
Stanley’s is a bar by night and a hugely popular brunch spot by (weekend) day. The brunch is a massive buffet filled with random offering everything from corned beef hash and biscuits and gravy to scrambled eggs to made-to-order waffles and omelets. There are also cookies and the makings for sandwiches, along with a fruit plate. Empanada Boy summed up the vibe very well when he suggested that the place reminded him of a college cafeteria. And the food quality wasn’t much better than that. EB and I were disappointed in almost everything we tried. Our favorite two dishes were the crispy corned beef hash with potato chunks and the juicy fried chicken. Neither of these items was particularly well-suited for EB’s diet, but he tried a few bites. Stanley’s Bloody Mary Bar falls into the same multiple choice formula: you get a jumbo paper cup with 3.5 shots of vodka and then go to the bar to add any sauces, spices and garnishes you choose. The offerings included pre-made mix, V8, celery salt, horseradish, steak sauce and much, much more. They took up about a third of the lengthy bar.
The result, as EB and others who tried the DIY bar found, was about at good as you make it. His drink (pictured here) was tasty, but lacked the kick I require. It also didn’t have olives or pickles, the former because those weren’t provided and the latter because they ran out. EB makes a mean bloody mary at home, so I don’t blame him for any of the shortcomings of his drink. It’s hard to taste and experiment when you’re pushing through hungover ex-frat boys to get to the bar. Not wanting to chance it with my limited mixology skills, I ordered the smaller (pint-sized) version that the bartenders mix up for you. My drink (pictured on top) had good kick and decent texture once you stirred it, but was severely lacking in the garnish department. A measly celery stalk and a lemon wedge made for a pretty sad sight. Still, the drink turned out to be less than $7, making it a pretty decent value. Overall, I thought the balance of my drink was better than that of my compatriots, mostly because it’s too hard to assemble a great drink under pressure. I guess you could say I like my brunches and my bloody marys assembled and served by experts, two reasons that Stanley’s just isn’t my cup of tea.
Hahn’s Bloody Bracket
www.hahnsbloodybracket.blogspot.com
Stanley’s Kitchen & Tap
1970 N. Lincoln Ave.
Chicago, IL 60614
312.642.0007
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I rode my bike over to Chicago’s 




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