Cast of Characters
The following is a list of characters who have appeared on The Mango Lassie with a brief explanation of how they are related to me.
Auntie Pasti: My aunt; married to Corn-y Uncle
Baconhater: My friend; wife of Halo-Halo
Basedrum Crumb: My friend and EB’s former bandmate and roommate; married to Curly Fries
Bagel with Lox: My cousin
Beefsteak: My friend from college; married to Varenyky
Beetrix: My friend and fellow wine club member
Big Andouille: EB’s childhood friend and an all-around great guy
Biscuit: The husband of EB’s cousin, Vegemite
Black Cherry Soda: My cousin, brother of Bagel with Lox
Boureka: My great uncle; Mushroom Maven’s dad; willing sampler of Isan-style Thai food
Cerealla: My sister-in-law; EB’s twin; married to Croque Monsieur
Chocolate Cake: My uncle; married to Lady Lasagna
Chopped Salad: My friend and colleague; married to Vinaigrette
Corn-y Uncle: My uncle; married to Auntie Pasti
Cousin Ketchup: My cousin
Corned Beef Hashette: My friend and former college classmate; fan of deviled eggs
Crawdad: My friend from college and a fantastic singer/composer; Smorgasburg sampler
Croque Monsieur: My brother-in-law; married to Cerealla
Curly Fries: My friend and Basedrum Crumb’s wife
Dagashi: My colleague and fellow book club founder
Daddy Salmon: My father
Dan Dan Noodle: My friend and fellow food adventurer; self-proclaimed Szechuan food gigolo
Dr. Shakshuka: My longtime friend and an Israeli food expert; owner of Israel Food Tours
Empanada Boy: My husband
Espresso: Husband of Trader Joanna’s cousin, Maple Syrup
Fancy Fresser: Partner of Boureka; willing sampler of Isan-style Thai food
Flava Flav: My younger sister
Focaccina: My friend
Foiegrasman: EB’s friend and former colleague
Fry Girl: My friend and fellow dog lover; a die-hard Mets fan
Half Pint: Daughter of Margarita and Tater Tot
Halo-Halo: My friend; husband of Baconhater
Hamentaschen: EB’s friend and former bandmate
HR Peanut: My friend and former college classmate; fellow wino
Hungry Man: My friend and former college classmate; fellow wine club member
Iceberg: EB’s uncle; burger connoisseur
Isla Flotante: A Spanish friend who I met while studying abroad in Madrid
Kebab: My friend and former colleague; a fan of fresh sardines
Kielbasa Mama: Mother of Croque Monsieur and a great lady
Lady Lasagne: My aunt; married to Chocolate Cake
Leftover Girl: My cousin
Lini: My first best friend; sister of Torte
Linguine: My tall, skinny niece; a fan of the Turtle Sundae
Lobster Bisque: My nephew; son of Sous Chef and Slim McDinner
Mango Mama: My mother
Maple Syrup: Trader Joanna’s cousin; married to Espresso
Margarita: My friend and fellow wine club member; married to Tater Tot
Mascarpone: My friend and fellow foodie; a talented chef and willing octopus eater
McIntosh Apple: My friend and former college classmate; engaged to Red Pepper; gourmet burger sampler
Megabite: Dan Dan Noodle’s college buddy; a computer guy and adventurous octopus eater
Melanzane: My friend and fellow wine club member
Mint Chip: My friend since second grade
Mushroom Maven: My first cousin once removed
Mr. Market: Flava Flav’s (now ex-) boyfriend
Noodles: My editor who loves to eat but claims to be allergic to all fish besides canned tuna
Onion: My friend since middle school who works at the publication that shares his name
Okonomiyaki: My aunt, an artist and an excellent Japanese cook
Oyster: My friend and former graduate school classmate; ramen lover
Pale Ale: My colleague and fellow book club founder
Perogie Officer: Dan Dan Noodle’s friend; jazz pianist; Jewish Christmas celebrator
Po’boy: My friend, the life of any party and a Louisiana native; secret taco sampler
Popover: My father-in-law
Red Pepper: My friend and former college classmate; engaged to McIntosh Apple; sampler of gourmet burgers
Rice Ball: My cousin; son of Second Breakfast and Okonomiyaki; a picky eater
Roo-barb: A friend of a friend of a friend; a jazz vocalist, an Australian and a honorary Jew at Jewish Christmas
Sgt. Pepperjack: Dan Dan Noodle’s friend; a bassist and an adventurous octopus eater
Salmorejo: Isla Flotante’s boyfriend
Saltman: My friend and colleague
Second Breakfast: My uncle
Slim McDinner: My brother-in-law; husband of Sous Chef
Sous Chef: My sister-in-law; wife of Slim McDinner
Spanikopita: EB’s aunt
Steve Vanilla: Dan Dan Noodle’s roommate
Sunbutter: Flava Flav’s friend
Sweet Tea: My friend and colleague
Tamago: My friend and fellow wine club member
Tater Tot: My friend and fellow wine club member; married to Margarita
Tofutti Cutie: My mother-in-law
Torte: My friend since childhood; older sister of Lini
The Glutard: Dan Dan Noodle’s friend; a bassist and Jewish Christmas celebrator
The Reading Corndog: My niece; daughter of Sous Chef and Slim McDinner
Trader Joanna: My maternal grandmother
Tuna Noodle: My friend and former college classmate; wine club member
Varenyky: My friend from college; married to Beefsteak
Veal Balls: The boyfriend of EB’s friend and former colleague Foiegrasman
Vegemite: EB’s cousin who lives in Australia (obviously)
Vegetable Queen: My niece
Vinaigrette: My friend; married to my colleague Chopped Salad
Vladimir Pudding: My friend and EB’s friend since childhood
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