The Mango Lassie

In the (almost) year since I started dating a Wisconsinite, I have learned that Wisconsin culinary specialties go beyond cheese. There’s the beer-boiled brat, the Friday fish fry and the wild rice fixation, to name a few. Among the more sinful Wisconsin delicacies is the butter burger, a thin patty, served on a bun that is literally dripping with butter. The great thing about Wisconsin is that it’s real butter, not margarine or some other partially hydrogenated concoction. This is the dairy state, and they do things right.

With that introduction, you might think I am about to recount a decadent butter burger encounter. I am not. When Empanada Boy and I went to Milwaukee yesterday, we planned to stop at Solly’s Grille, an acclaimed butter burger spot. But when we got through with the lengthy matinee we had come up to see, it was already 7:15 pm. Solly’s closes at 8 pm.

We decided instead to take a recommendation from some friends of EB’s parents who had been sitting next to us at the play. They told us to check out Elsa’s on the Park, another burger joint, although these weren’t the butter variety. When I called Elsa’s to ask how late they were open, and the woman who answered said, “until 2 a.m.”

That should have tipped me off to the fact that Elsa’s isn’t your typical burger joint. We drove right by it once, thinking it looked too much like a hip bar to be what we thought we were looking for. In fact, Elsa’s is a hip bar with irregularly cut glass bricks refracting beams of light on either side of the door and shimmery phallic statues in each of the front windows. Bartenders dressed in white whip up designer cocktails along one wall, and the walls are hung with brightly colored modern collages. Empanada Boy and I felt more than a little uncool compared to the young jet-setters of Milwaukee who packed the restaurant on that Saturday night, but we are cool enough for each other, and that was all that mattered.

It took a while for us to secure seats outside the smoking lounge, so we sat at the bar and ordered some drinks. EB had a beer (in a bottle as none are on tap), and I ordered a Caipirinha. Instead of adding sugar syrup to my drink, the bartender stuck in a piece of pink rock candy on a stir stick. The result was a drop-deadly strong drink. Luckily the sugar dissolved quickly, and it became quite pleasant.

When we were seated, we ordered our burgers. Ever the unconventional one, Empanada Boy ordered the Daisy Mae burger, featuring lemon-marinated turnip, radish and cucumber. Staying true to my heritage, I ordered the white-wine marinated Greek Maiden with feta, olives, mint and red onion.

The massive burgers (over 1/2 lb.) were served in elegant silver dishes with waffle-cut fries, a pickle and a few assorted fruits and vegetables. The beef was good, but nothing spectacular, although both were cooked a perfect medium rare as ordered. EB’s was a nice surprise. The acidic crispiness of the lemony extras added some nice texture and cut through the richness of the meat. My choice was something of a disappointment, making me wish I had ordered a plain burger. The feta was fine, although a little overwhelming in its saltiness. The olives were plain black ones from a can, not the kalamatas any true Greek maiden would expect. I also couldn’t taste any of the mint that was allegedly there. The fries were decent, and hey, burgers are burgers, and these were not bad.

After stuffing ourselves at Elsa’s, we could think of nothing more suitable than to stuff ourselves even more, but taking a detour to Kopp’s Frozen Custard for another Wisconsin specialty.

Despite its suburban strip location, there is an enclosed patio with a majestically-lit waterfall outside the Kopp’s we visited. EB and I heard a teenage girl coming out of the restaurant saying, in all earnestness, that she loved the spot so much that she planned to get married there. I wouldn’t go that far, but I’m sure a fair number of first kisses happen on summer nights by the falls. The interior is like a large industrial kitchen with high school-aged staff dressed in white and a clean metallic look to the fountain and grill preparation zones. Customers stand at small round tables, eating custard and burgers.

The first time I tried frozen custard, I assumed it was the same thing as soft serve, but it’s actually a bit different. Frozen custard has egg yolk in it, making it richer and creamier. EB and I decided to share “The Smile,” a sundae made by chocolate coating the dish, then adding three scoops of vanilla custard, some caramel and marshmallow, more chocolate and some large peanuts. It was tasty, but not as good as other frozen custard combinations I’ve tried. Again, I found myself wishing I had just ordered a plain cone of custard. Most of all, I found myself so full I could barely move out to the car.

I tried to sleep off the uncomfortable fullness as the valiant Empanada Boy drove us all the way back home.

Elsa’s On the Park
833 N. Jefferson St.
Milwaukee, WI 53202
414.765.0615

Kopp’s Frozen Custard (various locations)
7631 W. Layton Ave.
Greenfield, WI 53220
414.282.4312